i spend more time destressing myself than actually studying. spend my time drawing just to forget about the upcoming exams. just didn have time to scan and post. been forcing myself to study lately. after they changed the new grading system all the sudden i got scared. when my target was just to reach 75 and above straight A's was still a possible dream. but when they split that A into two sections when my target now would have to be higher than 75 aka A+. i'm not miss smart ass to get all my straight A's. even if i study i watch everyone else get the A's and i stare at my B and ask myself. what the fuck is wrong with me. they study the same things. read the same books. have the same teachers. what the fuck is wrong with me. now everything seems so far away. i feel like burning my books. i'm so sick and tired of studying it scares me. cuz if i dont study i cant write my essays. if i cant write my essays i cant get my A+. i'm finishing my cereal soon. which means i'd have to go back into my room and force myself to study again. i'd probably end up drawing or sleeping again. i put chocolate chips in my milk. its nice. let it melt a bit in the milk then eat. gosh im going insane. and my japanese exam is slot in between my spm. shesh.

*faints*

i had my class party yesterday, we had like 8 bottles of COKE. and i drank two of them. you know those 1.5litre ones. then i brought back another one. i need my sugar. i stoped drinking coke for months. so yeah. i couldnt help it. other than that, my body hurts from jumping up and down going crazy with my classmates. then stupid PIZZA HUT had to be such an idiot. they made us wait 1HOUR PLUS for our pizza. when they came we demanded for FREE OF CHARGE. and that idiot tells us he'll give us a RM5 voucher and we still have to pay for the pizza. isn't there like a time limit for how long you can make us wait. 1HOUR is stupid. by that time my stomachs have already eaten themselves and digested. other than that we had fun.

now i have to go study...